Loss

Bonjour my friends,

Today’s post is a rather sad one… About 2 weeks ago me and my significant other (MR) have decided to go our separate ways in life. This decision was not easy to make and was rather made for me. The relationship had turned abusive and toxic to say the least. Leading me to leaving for the best interest in my life.

This is why I haven’t posted anything lately. I am trying to take care of myself, even though I am not sure which way is up or who I am anymore.

I used to be a strong, independent, and adventurous girl. But, now I feel like I am dreaming my way through the day… Going through the motions in someone else body. Definitely not how I imagined it would be graduating university.

I spend my days in this complacent schedule of work, TV, crochet, youtube, sleep, and repeat. I have lived a lot of life for my 22 years and I know this is depression. Do not fear lovelies, I am seeking help… Hopefully soon I will be my normal self… But it will just take time.

Abuse isn’t always black eyes, and emotional girls. I like to think I kept myself together on the outside through the whole ordeal.

For example:

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In the picture above, my knee had been dislocated horribly making it hard (even now) to walk on or stand on. Also, my lip was busted in this picture. If, you follow me on Instagram, you know this picture received a lot of likes, the same for my personal Facebook. No one knew.

That being said, if you know anyone who may be experiencing abuse be there for them. You don’t have to demand they leave and yell at them to do so. They know they should. But love can be hard and can make you crazy. Take them out to eat, invite them to go shopping, go to see a movie, or watch Netflix with them. Just letting them you are there and that they can stay with you. The hardest thing is thinking you have absolutely no where to go when you are going through this turmoil and difficult time.

I cut my hair by the way!

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I needed a change. I liked my long hair well enough, but with all the changes in my life at the moment I needed to change something I had control of.
Yes, that is the scarf I was working on in a previous post. I will post a finished picture soon.

This post is probably choppy and does not make much sense. But, that is just how my brain is anymore, not enough noise and too much racket.

I am living with my dad now, so I don’t have a space of my own at the moment. Which makes it hard to craft, not including everything else. I hope to post more soon.

I have an interview to teach abroad in Japan with the AMITY company tomorrow! Wish me luck!

If anyone out there is struggling with abuse, it is not your fault… believe me. You can find help, it will get better in time. You are your biggest commitment and therefore have to take care of yourself first.

Kind wishes in the comments would be appreciated!

I love you all.

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